3 Effective Ways To Get Out of Survival Mode and Create the Life You Desire

Do you constantly feel stuck even though you know the things you should be doing to achieve your goals?

If you grew up experiencing a stressful home, significant trauma or neurodivergent challenges, you are likely in a state of survival mode. Living in survival mode prevents you from creating the things you desire.

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For years I learned tons of strategies from successful people on how to achieve my goals — whether it was a business, a relationship, health goal, etc. I was truly a self-help junkie.

I had all the how-to’s but couldn’t make it happen. I rarely felt inspired and my fearful brain would hijack the moment any time I had to do something uncomfortable.

I wanted to create a business using my natural gifts to help others as well as achieve financial security, a healthy body, an aligned relationship. It seemed simple, I just had to follow a strategy.

I would start a program that promised results and I might even finish it. But I couldn’t get results in the real world.

I was at my breaking point. I was tired of feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed and unfulfilled. Clearly another strategy wasn’t the answer and I was exhausted.

What Is Survival Mode?

Survival mode is a state of heightened stress and alertness where your body and mind are focused on responding to immediate threats. In this state, the brain prioritizes basic survival instincts over creative thinking, problem-solving, and long-term planning.

This causes a continuous cycle of anxiety and prevents you from accessing the creative part of your brain which allows you to experience inspiration and gives you the ability to follow through on your intentions.

When you’re used to this rigid state of being, it becomes your norm. You don’t realize how stressed your body is until you start to experience feeling calm on a regular basis.

You can read all the self-help and success books on how to create XYZ, but you won’t have the capacity to follow through, hear your intuition or identify what your next aligned action is if you are stuck in a state of fear and stress.

Here are 3 things I shifted to feel safer in my body and make progress on my goals:

1. I prioritized my health

There are fascinating studies on the connection between adverse childhood events and autoimmune and other health issues as adults. I had on going autoimmune and menstrual cycle issues that were only getting worse with time.

The body needs to be in a relaxed parasympathetic state in order to heal and repair itself. Eating processed and inflammatory foods only adds fuel to the fire and keeps the body in fight or flight while further damaging it.

Eating whole foods, cutting out sugar, caffeine and processed foods and improving my sleep were necessary to reduce the stress and inflammation and start to heal. This made a big difference in my moods, anxiety and sense of calm.

2. I started tracking my expenses

Financial security is directly connected to our survival. I grew up with constant stress around money and I knew what it was like to always feel fearful about money.

If I had access to money, I would spend it on things I wanted but didn’t need. This kept me in a perpetual cycle of not having the basic things I needed to function but having unnecessary things that didn’t add value to my life. I didn’t know when money would come around again so I felt I had to take the opportunities when I had them. This got me in a lot of debt.

Instead of adding more stress and trying to change all of my financial habits overnight, I made one tiny shift, I started tracking every penny I spent.

This small shift gave me a sense of control and security. At the very least, I knew where my money was going. It was a baby step and it was a manageable change, and overtime, my relationship with money began to shift. It’s a habit I still keep today.

3. I got support

Isolation was my norm. It was a coping mechanism. I didn’t trust or feel safe around 99% of people. Eventually isolation started eating away at me and made my anxiety 100x worse. Being alone made everything harder but I didn’t feel I could open up to others.

I couldn’t pay for professional support so I found a 12 step group that slowly helped me open up and build trust with people again. It also strengthened my connection with God. This was one of the most impactful things I’ve done on my healing journey. I learned that connecting with people in a safe environment is extremely important to feel safe in the world.

In Summary

Shifting these 3 things massively transformed my life. Improving my health, feeling more financially secure and getting emotional and spiritual support from others has helped me feel grounded and safe physically, emotionally and spiritually.

From this space of safety, I have access to my intuition and my creative abilities. I have more confidence in myself to move through the uncertainty of life.

Creating something you desire takes commitment and perseverance. It requires you to be in touch with your authentic self and your intuition. You need access to the part of your brain that allows you to be open to new ideas and solutions to problems.

If you’re in a chronic state of fear, you won’t know the aligned actions to take. You won’t know how to prioritize the important steps. You won’t be able to weather the storms of uncertainty.

Feeling safe in our bodies, mind and life is a necessary first step to creating anything we want. The strategy comes later.